Hi Fellow Bloggers,
I labeled this one "Its about the boy" because I'm sure you guys have read that I'm a single mom of a pretty amazing eight year old boy. I've been doing some research about tolerance and stigmas and all those not so happy thoughts. I realized yesterday that tolerance is just a word and not many of us accept or "tolerate" others' differences of opinion, orientation, physicalities, disfunctions whatever it might be we aren't a very forgiving society.
My son experienced prejudice from my neighbors son today when he boarded the school bus this morning. My neighbor had an issue by the way I conducted myself in my driveway when I kissed my girlfriend good bye from visiting with us that afternoon. We kissed and I didn't think twice about a hug and a good bye kiss and what it would mean to my neighbors. However, I should have because my neighbor called then text my cell with rants about exposing her children to my orientation and blah blah blah. Yes that's what i said because a) I don't feel that my orientation should be viewed as anything other than what it is... love between two females big whoop! b) this is my property and I shouldn't be discriminated against for my "behavior" c) if I had kissed a BOYfriend instead of a GIRLfriend, the neighbor would have looked the other way and not a second look given. Now this is my soap box for the day. It made me furious that my son had to endure such discrimination from his busmate and neighbor all because of his mothers thoughts about my orientation. Our boys were allowed to play last year but now they aren't.
Now I welcome everyone's opinion on how to react to this discrimination but it ties to our kids. The ones who contract HIV/AIDS with no fault of their own and how people treat them. I've decided to focus on women and children's health in my future blogs because both affect me directly. I am a furious mom of a healthy eight year old. How does a mom (HIV positive or negative) of an eight year old (HIV positive or negative) feel when her child is bullied or discriminated against?
I found an organization when I was doing my research for this blog that really helps with resources for women and children. Prevention, care, Pyschosocial issues, other general resources. http://www.womenchildrenhiv.org/ Now this site is for informational purposes.
I also found a wonderful site called children with AIDS charity...http://www.cwac.org/index.htm
this site is specific to children's needs. It was set up in 1992 to help those who are the silent voices drowned by the loud sounds of HIV/AIDS. Charity events range from bracelet sells to fine dining dinner events. The charity is based out of London but I'm sure it can be expanded to any part of the world with a few emails.
I am a mom and my son means the world to me. In my next blog I'm going to try and find the answer to my question, " What does that mom feel like?" I'm furious and I don't have to deal with a sick child, I can't even attempt to wear those shoes.
Laterz
Works cited
HIV/AIDS women and children. (2009) Requested on September 16, 2009. http://www.womenchildrenhiv.org/
Women and Children HIV/AIDS charities. (2009) Requested on September 16, 2009. http://www.cwac.org/index.htm
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Claudia, although what happened to you was not very nice, what happen to your son was aweful. Unfortunately this happens everyday. Children can be mean to each other and are always looking for something to tease or be hurtful about to other children such as if the child has obese parents, not as much money, an ugly front tooth, wears super thick "coke bottle" glasses etc. I think what you say and teach your son is what is important. Make this a learning experience and let him know that this child is not his friend but there are other children out there that would love to be his friend.
ReplyDeleteIsn't it amazing how quick people are to judge and take "action", voice options when it's something judgmental and prejudice like that? If everyone could channel that energy into raising awareness and doing positive things in the community and supporting each other, instead of worrying about everyone else's business, wouldn't the world be a better place? It sounds corny... but that really got me thinking, how much more likely is it that someone would have contacted you about your own personal behavior than it would have been for that same person to go and accompany their friend to a support group? Would they not because they would be afraid someone would do the same thing they did to you and harass them for being there?
ReplyDeleteI'd hate to be just as bad as your neighbors by judging them, but I'd be willing to bet that they probably are some of those close minded people who believes that only people of certain sexual orientations can get HIV... they likely won't encourage their children (if heterosexual) to be tested if they choose to be sexually active, and then their children will be at risk.
I agree with morgan who commented on your blog as well that you could use this as teaching tool for your child, a learning experience... a "what not to do." I'm pretty confident with you guiding them, they will want to learn just as much as you do, and become educated rather than discriminatory.
First of all, I don't see anything wrong with a girl kissing another girl or a boy kissing another boy. Everyone is free to have whatever sexual orientation they please because it is their life and their living it for themselves, not for the likeness of everyone else. I don't see in what you did was wrong at all if that's what your orientation is. I'm sorry that your son was descriminated by his busmate and neigbors. They should had just mind their business and worry about their own lives. I couldn't imagine having a child who is HIV positve and is being bullied at school or if I was HIV positve and he was being bullied because they found out that I had it. I would want to explode in anger because this would be first of all unfair for my child to endure. Second, nobody should be picked on because they have a disability or a disease or is associated with someone who has it and third both my child and I would become mentally sick from this kind of treatment. For me or my son carrying this illness, this would make it very hard to recover from an illness of this magniture when we are feeling even sicker then what the illness has already made you.
ReplyDeleteThere are very few of my daughter's friends who know she is HIV positive. I've told the parents of her best friends and they have no problem with the issue. However, I'm sure there are some that would. She knows to not let anyone touch her if she should be bleeding and she is not to touch anyone else if they are bleeding. I don't relish the day when she will come home hurt because some doesn't want to have anything to do with her. I don't look forward to the day when I have to tell her that when she is dating she can't have sex with anyone, until they are of an age where they understand all the ramifications. Sorry I can't help you with your question of "what does a mom feel like."
ReplyDeleteThe US population doesn't seem to have as big a hang up with lesbians as they do with gay guys. I guess that is because the men in the population have always had a fantasy of having sex with two women and watching two women have sex together, so they don't see it as so unusual. Men, however, having sex with men ruins their thoughts about the macho male image and so they are disgusted with that thought.
Your neighbor needs to get a grip. I'm sure her son could tell her a few things that would curl her hair. I remember a mother who sighed with relief when she asked her daughter if she knew anything about condoms. Her daughter had replied no. But imagine her shock when her daughter asked her what it was and then blurted out, "Oh you mean a rubber." The mother almost fell off her chair. It is always a shame when we teach our children our prejudices rather than letting them form their own.