Hello Fellow Bloggers,
I thought last week was emotionally trying, I should have waited to make that statement this week. On a good note, my brother's biopsy came back negative. He spent a week in Houston going through testing and biopsies. His doctor's cleared him on Monday. On a not so good note, my ex-mother-in law on was diagnosed with breast cancer on Monday. So we'll be going through some chemotherapy after all and alot of surgery over the next few weeks.
That takes me to the hypothetical scenario of this weeks question. This weeks question really tore me. the question was, would I give my HIV infected kidney to my sibling if they only had three days to live waiting for a kidney transplant. I don't know what I would do, nor would I know how to feel about giving up my HIV positive kidney to a sibling who is in her/his last days waiting for that life saving kidney. Can we say alot of therapy to get over guilt for giving someone I love an infected organ or losing that someone because I didn't want to try to convince her or him to take the kidney. I went through a similar situation with my father. He had 11% kidney function in both kidneys. My brother and I were a match for him but he refused our kidney's. All he could say was I've lived a great life and you kids are going to need yours. You see kidney disease runs in our family so that's the only reason he said it. I was not prepared to see him leave this world but in a way I understood. He just wanted us to live a happy and full life just as he had.
Now I have a different scenario for you. My brother and I didn't have an HIV infected kidney, we just wanted our dad. We were both healthy at the time of my father's need for a kidney. So that brings me to the next scenario. Considering this is Breast Cancer awareness month and I have someone in my family who was diagnosed with breast cancer, I would like to put this on the table. I have heard my friends talk about donating a breast if someone they loved were diagnosed with breast cancer. I personally have never heard of someone doing this, nor have I heard of someone who is an HIV positive patient donating a breast. Again, assuming this scenario were completely hypothetical it would be a very noble cause, but seriously, what kind of life would these women live. So they already have to deal with cancer, and now they have to deal with the possibility of their bodies not accepting the organ; not to mention if their bodies do accept the organ, what kind of life would they be awarded. This question is about quality not quantity. We start counting our days when we are born and reach that magical number hopefully many years from the beginning of the count.
Okay so now that that thought is in your mind lets throw a wrench in it. We have an HIV negative breast cancer patient and an HIV positive, otherwise healthy-possible donor. Assuming something happens with the HIV positive patient during the surgery and he or she went down hill from there and ultimately died from trying to save someone else. Assuming also that this person was a woman who was a lesbian who wanted to help her straight brother with his need for a kidney. Who's going to feel guiltier? The straight brother or the remaining family members and friends of the lesbian donor. Are we going to hold her up on a pedestal considering that she died for a great cause, trying to save her brother or is it going to be a situation where its brushed under the rug because she was gay and HIV positive. Its a perceptual thought and one in which, I'm not found of thinking about. I can predict what would happen and not realizing the reality of my prediction can assume that its a very biased decision. I hope I'm wrong but the 1980's bears that stamp and if history truly repeats itself, women have no chance in this world of taking our place within it. We will never be respected in our endeavors and love for others and our abilities to grow life with discretion of how the life we're growing will prosper.
Now let's go back to the 1980's when AIDS was so undiscovered that a name didn't even exist. We have what was known then as the homosexual cancer... yep you guessed it...
Did you know that it wasn't until the first woman was discovered to have this 'cancer' that everyone was afraid of and no one knew how it was contracted nor did they know from where the cure was to come, that they considered it a disease that could possibly affect everyone other than just the gay community. Here are just a few statistics according to the CDC that might shock others just as it did me. Just for the record... Women have to join one another and try to fight this disease because... guess what? We are a huge gear in this life-wheel of disease and life.
"-HIV/AIDS was diagnosed for an estimated 9,708 women.
-High-risk heterosexual contact was the source of 80% of these newly diagnosed infections.
-Women accounted for 26% of the estimated 37,163 diagnoses for adults and adolescents.
-Of the 126,964 women living with HIV/AIDS, 64% were black, 19% were white, 15% were Hispanic, 1% were Asian or Pacific Islander, and less than 1% were American Indian or Alaska Native .
-The estimated number of HIV/AIDS in female adults or adolescents decreased from 11,941 in 2001 to 9,708 in 2005.
-According to a recent CDC study of more than 19,500 patients with HIV in 10 US cities, women were slightly less likely than men to receive prescriptions for the most effective treatments for HIV infection (cdc.gov)
These statistics are rather scary. We as women should stop and rethink the situation when sleeping with someone and possibly getting pregnant or a disease. I'm not sure about everyone else but for me to bring someone into this world knowing that I'm positive and their quality of life will be compromised and possibly knowing that the child won't live to drive is a burden I don't want to carry. Nor do I want to feel guilty for giving someone life when I knew that just as in the kidney situation, my loved one would spend the rest of their life fighting for something that was never theirs to fight.
laterz bloggers
works cited
HIV/AIDS and women. cdc.gov.website. Retrieved October 21, 2009 from http://www.cdc.gov/hiv/topics/women/resources/factsheets/women.htm
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Wow, Cathia. You are so passionate about this. I know this has really hit home for you since you experienced something very similar with your dad and the fact that kidney disease runs in your family. I am sorry for the loss of your father. It sounds like he was a very loving, brave man.
ReplyDeleteYou did bring up a thought that I had not considered. The HIV positive person may be guilt-ridden watching their loved one struggle with HIV/AIDS. Although HIV is not a death sentence, no one knows when AIDS will take hold. Could they only have a few years to live? No one knows. What if they have difficulty tolerating the HIV drugs? I could see myself apologizing to my sibling over and over again.
The breast transplant scenerio I have never heard of but would think that it would be a very similar situation as a kidney transplant and so you would have some of the same emotions.
I also agree that women need to take a more active role in the control of their bodies and their lives. This would help the HIV situation as well as possible help with abuse, STD's, unwanted pregnancies, etc. Women need to learn not to be intimidated or submissive to men or their partners. Two can live together without one being dominant.
I hope that the situation with your brother and ex mother-in-law will have a positive end.
I thought you made a good post.
I am so sorry to hear about your ex mother in law and father. I hope everything works out well for you brother. You had a great post!
ReplyDeleteYou're right about the 1980s and I hope history does not repeat itself, but...
I agree with you that women should put a lot more thought into who they have sex with. Espeically if they want to start a family one day. Passing HIV on to your child is a huge burden. We all need to be responsible for our actions. I liked the scenarios that you placed in your post. It really makes me think about things from a different perspective. The thought of the situation being put under the rug, because she is a lesbian really upsets me. More people need to take this course so that they can understand that this disease does not discriminate and is not a punishment for homosexuals.
Your post was fantastic! I can completely sympathize with you. I had to fly here to Florida for my father having spinal surgery. I am helping take care of him while he recovers and tomorrow it's back to Texas. He had bones placed in between his vertebrae's, from a donor, as well. That makes me think too. Could HIV be transferred through the bone? Could an organ donor who is HIV positive still donate bone?
ReplyDeleteAs for breast cancer, I would hope that they could just remove the breast. If it was me, I would have no problem just getting rid of those things! Easier said than done of course. Wearing fake ones in a bra wouldn't bother me though. If it came down to it, I would be okay with being cancer free and only having one breast. They make fake inserts for a reason.
I have read the article based on the Cancer and its effects on the life and environment around that corner.I like the post very much as it contain very informative in nature.I agree with the point that these statistics are rather scary. We as women should stop and rethink the situation when sleeping with someone and possibly getting pregnant or a disease.I hope there are many precaution to avoid that kind of serious condition.
ReplyDeleteomega-3